Breakthrough

It was the language she used that sent me off on a quest; an internal quest.

She said “Family of Origin”

That’s biological, that’s cells and DNA, sperm & eggs; how I was produced

She said “Family of Origin”

I don’t do science, I mean I know the basics, but get beyond symbols and combinations and I am a bit lost. It isn’t my subject; CuSO4 is about my limit.

She said “Family of Origin”

My body remained in the room, I am not one for physically floating off into the ether; but my mind entered a different space. What would it look like if…?

For me, the question cannot even be framed correctly never mind answered.

Origin is defined as:

noun

  • something from which anything arises or is derived; source; fountainhead: to follow a stream to its origin.
  • rise or derivation from a particular source: the origin of a word.
  • the first stage of existence; beginning: the origin of Quakerism in America.
  • ancestry; parentage; extraction: to be of Scottish origin.

Something … anything is suggestive that I could be anything, random & vague

From a particular source makes me think the source is more important than the product

the first stage of being, existence, beginning; I am warming to that definition

And finally, the obvious – ancestral. In class last week, the lecturer was trying to say, not trying did say but I misheard: I thought she said “your incestors and descendants.” I couldn’t quite hear the second word because the first word was clanging through my head – Did she just say “forgiving of self then forgives your incestors” The lecturer repeated this phrase a few times by which I had stopped the mind slam of words and I heard what was really being said; “ancestors.”

But I am still not convinced by the definitions of origin relating to family.

Anatomy.

  1. the point of derivation.
  2. the more fixed portion of a muscle.

The point of derivation appeals to me; the point where something naturally develops. But again, it isn’t quite there for me.

Mathematics.

  1. the point in a Cartesian coordinate system where the axes intersect.
  2. Also called pole. the point from which rays designating specific angles originate and are measured from in a polar coordinate system with no axes.

René Descartes methodically created a mathematical model where at certain times axes met (intersected). This point is called the origin. And then there is nothing, the two axes continue on their journey. There is nothing about what happens when they intersect, or for how long they intersect.

She said “Family of Origin”

And I had a breakthrough. Not there, not in class, not that day, but the next morning, I had a divine encounter and transformation has begun once more as another layer is peeled away.

Psalm 139
13 
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.