Road Works

2012

In order for this to function effectively as a journal, I need to get over myself, and get real. A friend reminded me a few weeks ago that if I wanted to achieve anything, if I put my mind to it I could. We weren’t talking about something airy fairy or pie in the sky, we were talking about

suicide

My friend was describing a third party and an attempted suicide. The conversation flowed and the remark that I was left with was “I am so glad Suzie that you never tried because I know you would succeed.”

How glad I am that in my darkest hour, I turned not to a way out but the Way. Jesus met me at my point of pain and healed me. Nothing outside of me has changed. I am still in the same situations.

My way of dealing with it all has changed totally. My life is centred on God, and I am alive because of him and I live through him, when I thought the road was closed, that the stuff I was in was too great for me to live with, God showed me a new route.

This new road is not without potholes, twists and turns. The life, the new creation he made me into, sails past these potholes, takes the right line going into each bend and then every now and then a pothole stops you in your tracks.

I am having one of those days today, a pothole was delivered on a piece of paper. As it was given, I was told it was no big deal, a formalisation thing, it’s nothing. Well to me, it is a big deal, it is not just formalising an agreement, it scares the living daylights out of me.

I have spent the rest of the day asking the Lord is he sure he is asking the right person. What kind of Christian does that make me – questioning God?

Whilst doing this, I was also thinking back to the mess I was in before he saved me and how awesome he makes me feel, how wonderful the change he has made in me. So I need to get over myself and get real.

Lord, I am sorry for questioning you, I am sorry that I began to panic instead of bringing the issue immediately to you.

Lord I thank you for the changes you have made in my life. I am eternally grateful for the grace, mercy and love you have shown me. Help me get over myself, Help me get real. I am yours Lord, use me as you will.

Lord, thank you for the healing and good news that came to me today, Lord I lift up those people to you, thank you for their healing, thank you for their good news.

Amen