be set free

2012

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

Being free comes with its responsibilities. As a child, if you were given no boundaries, you found out that fire is hot by experimenting. Having free-will comes with responsibilities and it is up to each individual how they exercise that free-will. Me, I traded it in to become a servant and daughter of Christ. Everything, therefore, I do is for the Lord.

I sit here struggling to write today because my emotions are turned upside down and inside out, but I know there will be nothing written here for a long time due to my exit to the UK and I feel the urge to fill the virtual page today to come to some understanding that I haven’t had before. It is difficult, my mind is elsewhere, the emotions are raw, childlike emotions, stifled for a lifetime, the primal cry of birth.

I feel personal freedom in being a daughter of Christ, I don’t feel burdened by responsibility personally. Take me out of myself to what I say and act around others, that is a whole different market stall. It is Thursday which means Keith followed by Audrey. Keith dropped a loaded gun by announcing a sabbatical. Good on him for taking a break, but as he has encouraged me so much especially in the last month I am going to miss him.

Audrey and I ended up having a really interesting few minutes, but there were some barriers at the beginning. I think my mind was already in England, or all the things I had to organise before going as well as the trepidation of the journey and the journey’s end. Audrey was also pensive, maybe if one of us had been less reticent the conversation would’ve sparked earlier. Towards the end of our time together she shared Leonard Cohen’s lyrics for Hallelujah. Initially, she talked about the randomness of it, that she didn’t understand it. Now I had never read the lyrics, as a proponent of ignoring everything X Factor it was never going to be on my list of songs to seek out.

Wanda, my beautiful Lanzarotain singer friend, once asked me to sing it with her, there was not enough drink in Lanzarote for me to get up with her, a professional singer and cackle like an old witch-like I do in church.

Back to lyrics, we read through them, and I suddenly realised it was Bathsheba’s and Delilah’s stories, from a man’s perspective. So I was able to share to the “I don’t get religion” Audrey about Bathsheba. I didn’t know anything about Delilah apart from Hollywood version of the Bible (not the most reliable of sources) We left laughing at each other, me giving her the scripture reference and she saying “I’ll look it up on Wikipedia”

I will miss Audrey next week and the following weeks as I sojourn in England. I will miss all the people I visit it with both physically and virtually. I am free, I was free to say no. I chose to say yes, because to say anything other than yes would have disrespected the Lord and all he has done for me, back to the mantra: “May God’s love be seen through me, may God’s love be seen through me, may….”