learning {being still} daily

This was written a few years ago when I was in a liminal stage of life. 

April was a busy month and I didn’t get done everything on my “To-Do List.” Over and over again I ended up staring at walls, out of windows, standing in my garden, kneeling in my kitchen and just being still.

So the poster is half-finished, the prep work is three-quarters done, the kitchen didn’t get that clean I promised and yet I continue to be still.

There was an amount of distraction and having so many unfinished projects did cause me to sit and ponder which to do first and the pros and cons of each one. But the over-riding thought above all others was the wonderful, beautiful peace I sat in. I garnered these moments jealously, I selfishly found more and more of these moments.

And now it is May, the month of the vacation, and I am leaving for Florence with much undone and it feels okay. Before I go there is much busyness and as soon as I get back there is more busyness but it is okay.

Because being still, taking time to be with the Lord, to commune with my living God, is far more important than deadlines, than “To-Do Lists,” than doing church. I have been to some amazing places and had wonderful conversations in April and I wouldn’t change any of it. I am healthier than I have been for some time because of them and the physical exercise.

Oh I have just had a blessed month, don’t get me wrong I had days of struggle, one week in particular stands out but in it all was God. As I had to get my head around doing and being His way when my old way of thinking and living was shouting, “NOT FAIR.” He is in control, and I was brought low to realise that, I can’t start a new way of reading His word, just to suit my life story. It isn’t about me, it is about how my story can glorify His name.

I head out into next week to days of walking ten or more miles in lovely warm Italy, I have no expectations for the vacation I will just enjoy whatever comes, I might even get back into writing regularly.

Chris Buzelli at home in the liminal world