on the edge

I was standing on the balcony looking out as the sun set across the sea. The sky had gone from yellows and oranges to hues of purple and I felt I was on the edge of …

Well, I was on the edge of the balcony but this was something more, this was like being on the edge of the next thing I am being led toward or called to. Kairos timing has no compunction to adhere to church timetabling and the right time in church terms and I know as I stand there I am being called and a song rises up in me and I begin to sing

 You painted the skies in a glorious palette
you hung stars in the exact right place
I stand in awe
I stand in wonder
I stand and wait
Where is it you want me to go?
How do you want me to be?
Who do you want me to serve in your name?
You know already
it is there in your heart
it has been bubbling for a while
but now I will light it
I will go where you say
I will be how you say
and I will serve You through serving others.
What amazing love you have
that knows no earthly bounds
you choose the weirdest folk
to do your bidding
I choose to go
I choose to follow
I choose love, Your agape love
in all I do
O Lord, O Lord, O Lord

those were not the exact words but it felt like a prayer song between me and God. It took longer than those few lines can explain, there was timelessness about it. One of those moments.

I don’t know if I can do what I am bid but I will have some conversations in the coming week and go from there.

It started with a boat. I don’t sail well so choose not to but I like to look at them. From the balcony, I have watched the tiny ferry boats travel from Dubrovnik to Cavtat and back. At some point, I realised that these tiny little vessels were similar to the ones that were running to Turkey and bringing people to Greece.

These little boats that only have twenty on board at a time here, could have two hundred on board on the perilous journey to the Greek Islands. I am not implying that it is these boats just similar.

Midweek I was having a conversation about going on holiday in the winter, and my heart leapt. So I, because I am me, needed some confirmation that leaping hearts meant there was a plan for my winter sojourn. And it seems there is.

When the plan is more concrete I will write extensively on the focus. For now, I sit with peace in my heart that prayer songs give answers. What I considered to be a small jaunt helping others is already turning into something else.

So with a peaceful heart and an open mind, I travel homeward tomorrow, for now.