I write about Stuff

“No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” —Ephesians 5:29 NLT

There’s a quiet message woven through our culture today—one that tells us to focus on ourselves first. Love yourself. Prioritise yourself. Find yourself. Protect yourself. And while there is wisdom in caring for our wellbeing, the danger comes when self‑focus becomes the centre of our lives. When everything begins to orbit around our own needs, our own comfort, our own desires, something in our spiritual life begins to shrink.

Scripture paints a very different picture. Jesus didn’t call us to elevate ourselves; He called us to deny ourselves. Not because we are worthless, but because self‑absorption blinds us to the life God wants to give us. When Jesus said, “Whoever loses their life for My sake will find it,” He wasn’t calling us to disappear—He was calling us to discover who we truly are in Him.

Paul reminds us that we already love ourselves. We feed ourselves, care for ourselves, protect ourselves instinctively. The problem isn’t a lack of self‑love; it’s an excess of it. When self becomes the priority, our capacity to love others shrinks. Our empathy weakens. Our spiritual vision narrows. We become so busy tending to our own inner world that we lose sight of the people God has placed around us.

As women, we often carry a deep emotional awareness—of our needs, our wounds, our longings. And that awareness is not wrong. But when it becomes the centre of gravity, it drains the space we need for compassion, service, and generosity. It’s like a computer overloaded with unnecessary files—everything slows down, and the system struggles to function as it should.

God calls us to something richer. Isaiah urges us to seek justice, defend the vulnerable, and help the oppressed. These are outward‑facing actions—impossible to do when our gaze is fixed inward. Paul goes even further, saying that everything he once valued—status, achievement, reputation—became worthless compared to knowing Christ. He willingly let go of everything that centred him on himself so he could be centred on Jesus instead.

And here’s the beautiful truth: when we “lose” our lives for Christ, we don’t end up empty. We end up full. God loves us far more deeply than we could ever love ourselves. He knows what will bring us joy, purpose, and peace. When we loosen our grip on self‑interest, we make room for His abundance. When we stop trying to “find ourselves,” we discover who we truly are—beloved, chosen, called, and held.

Self‑forgetfulness is not self‑neglect. It’s freedom. It’s the freedom to live beyond ourselves, to love without calculation, to serve without resentment, to give without fear. It’s the freedom to live the life God intended—one marked by purpose, compassion, and joy.

What about you? Where have you experienced the surprising freedom of “losing” your life for Christ—and what might He be inviting you to release next so you can find even more of the life He has for you?