I write about Stuff

“In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.” —James 3:5

There is an old saying many of us learned as children: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” It sounds brave. It sounds resilient. But it simply isn’t true. Bones heal. Bruises fade. But words — careless, cruel, or cutting — can linger in the heart for years. Sometimes for a lifetime.

James understood this deeply. In his letter, he devotes an entire section to the power of the tongue. He compares it to a spark — small, seemingly insignificant, yet capable of igniting a fire that consumes everything in its path. Words may be tiny, but their impact is enormous.

To illustrate this, consider the modern phenomenon of the “roast.” Not the kind that simmers in an oven, but the comedy tradition where celebrities gather to “honor” someone by insulting them. The sharper the jab, the louder the laughter. The more outrageous the insult, the more memorable the performance. It’s all framed as harmless fun — a celebration of humor and thick skin.

But behind the scenes, many who have been roasted admit that the words cut deeper than they expected. A single comment, delivered for a laugh, lodged itself in their heart. Some walked away with wounded confidence. Others struggled with anxiety or self‑doubt long after the cameras stopped rolling. What was presented as entertainment became, for them, a source of pain.

Their experiences echo James’s warning: the tongue may be small, but its potential for harm is great.

Most of us don’t participate in televised roasts, but we all know what it feels like to be wounded by words. Perhaps someone told you that you weren’t good enough. That you were unlovable. That you would never succeed. Maybe a parent, a teacher, a friend, or even a stranger spoke something that settled into your soul like a stone. Those words can shape how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and even how we approach God.

But the opposite is also true. Words can heal. Words can lift. Words can breathe life into weary hearts. Think of the encouragement you’ve received from someone who believed in you — a spouse, a parent, a mentor, a friend. A simple sentence spoken at the right moment may still echo in your heart today. Proverbs 25:11 describes this beautifully: “The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver.” Words, when used wisely, become treasures.

Proverbs 18:21 puts it plainly: “The tongue can bring death or life.” Every conversation, every comment, every text message, every post carries weight. We are always sowing something with our words — either seeds of life or seeds of destruction. And the harvest will come.

This is why Scripture urges us to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Words spoken in haste often carry regret. Words spoken in anger often leave scars. But words spoken with intention, humility, and love can change the atmosphere of a home, a marriage, a workplace, or a friendship.

The truth is, our words reveal our hearts. Jesus said that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” If bitterness fills our hearts, bitterness will spill out. If pride fills our hearts, pride will spill out. But if Christ fills our hearts — His love, His grace, His compassion — then our words will reflect Him.

This is not something we can accomplish on our own. We need the Holy Spirit to shape our speech. We need God’s wisdom to guide our conversations. We need His grace to help us apologize when we speak carelessly and to forgive when others wound us.

Imagine what your relationships could look like if your words consistently brought life. Imagine the atmosphere of your home if encouragement flowed freely. Imagine the healing that could begin if you spoke forgiveness instead of resentment, blessing instead of criticism, truth instead of sarcasm.

Your tongue can leave a trail of destruction — or it can leave a legacy of encouragement, healing, confidence, and love. The choice is yours. And the impact is eternal.

Ask God today to help you speak words that build up rather than tear down. Words that reflect His heart. Words that bring life.