I write about Stuff

“People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.” —James 3:7–9

There is something awe‑inspiring about watching a powerful animal submit to the gentle pull of a rein. Anyone who has ridden a horse knows the strange mixture of exhilaration and humility that comes from guiding such strength with nothing more than a bit and a strap of leather. Humanity has learned to tame creatures of every size and temperament — lions, elephants, dolphins, eagles, even buffalo. With enough patience, training, and discipline, we can bring wildness under control.

And yet, James tells us there is one thing we have never mastered: our own tongue.

It is a humbling truth. We can tame beasts, but we cannot tame our words. We can subdue nature, but we cannot subdue the impulses that slip past our lips. James’s words strike us because we know they are true. We have all said things we wish we could take back. We have all felt the sting of words spoken in anger, frustration, or carelessness. We have all wounded others — and been wounded — by the power of speech.

Socrates once said, “Speak, so that I may see you.” Our words reveal our hearts. They expose our character. They show what is happening beneath the surface long before our actions do. And for believers, this truth carries even greater weight. If Christ has transformed our hearts, then our words should reflect that transformation. The tongue becomes a barometer of spiritual maturity.

Jesus Himself taught this: “What you say flows from what is in your heart.” Our speech is not an isolated behavior; it is the overflow of our inner life. If our hearts are full of grace, our words will be gracious. If our hearts are full of bitterness, our words will be sharp. If our hearts are full of pride, our words will be boastful. The tongue simply reveals what already exists within.

Many Christians take pride in the outward changes that come with spiritual growth — habits broken, sins resisted, behaviors transformed. These are good and necessary signs of maturity. But James reminds us that if our speech remains unrestrained, our growth is incomplete. We may never dream of physically harming someone, yet we may casually harm their reputation. We may never raise a weapon against another person, yet we may wield sarcasm, gossip, or criticism with deadly precision.

Words can assassinate character. Words can fracture relationships. Words can poison trust. And words can do all of this in moments.

But the opposite is also true. Words can heal. Words can strengthen. Words can restore. Words can breathe life into weary souls. Proverbs tells us that “the tongue can bring death or life,” and every day we choose which one we will speak.

People who tame wild animals earn applause. But people who tame their tongues earn something far more valuable — respect. Others notice when you refuse to join in gossip. They notice when you speak well of someone who is not present. They notice when your words build up rather than tear down. They notice when your speech reflects the gentleness and grace of Christ.

And the people closest to you — your spouse, your children, your friends — notice most of all. If you have never been intentional about your words before, they may be skeptical at first. Change takes time. But as your speech becomes consistently kinder, gentler, and more thoughtful, they will see the work God is doing in you.

Taming the tongue is not a small battle. It is one of the greatest battles of the Christian life. James says that if we could fully control our words, we would be “perfect” — spiritually mature, whole, and disciplined in every other area. In other words, victory over the tongue opens the door to victory elsewhere. When we learn to pause before speaking, to pray before responding, to filter our words through love, we begin to cultivate a heart that is increasingly aligned with Christ.

But here is the good news: though no human being can tame the tongue, the Holy Spirit can. What is impossible for us is possible for God. He can soften our hearts, purify our motives, and transform our speech. He can help us speak life instead of death, blessing instead of cursing, encouragement instead of criticism.

Ask Him to do that work in you. Invite Him to shape your words. Let your speech become a testimony of His grace.

A tamed tongue is not the result of willpower — it is the fruit of a transformed heart.