Do You Miss Touch? The Paradigm Shift Since COVID-19

Do you miss touch? That simple question—posed in living rooms, Zoom chats, park benches—reveals an ache most of us have never felt so acutely throughout the global pandemic of Covid-19. My question for us though is: Has much changed in 2025?

Before 2020, a handshake signalled greeting, a hug consoled grief, a pat on the back cheered success. Then COVID-19 struck. A microscopic virus rendered our very fingertips potential paths of disease. Governments, medical bodies and media outlets urged us to “stay apart,” “keep two metres apart” and “avoid all non-essential contact.” In March 2020, the World Health Organization declared a global pandemic; within days, public health guidance mutated our instinctive gestures into taboo acts (United Nations, 2020). People who once reflexively reached out to touch now recoiled at their own hands, as if contaminated.

By April 2020, masks and gloves were the norm and had become badges of caution; parks emptied of children chasing each other. Elderly relatives went weeks—sometimes months—without physical visits. Long-distance caregivers resorted to window visits and grocery drop-offs, because even elbow bumps were deemed too risky (Murthy, 2020). Domestic abuse hotlines reported spikes as victims, isolated from escape routes, lost any chance of a consoling stroke or gathering of friends (United Nations, 2020). In hospitals, families could not hold dying hands. How did we allow for such decisions to be made? Where was the compassion? Nothing could not replace the warmth of a loved one’s palm in our least few moments.

The science of touch deprivation is stark. Hertenstein et al. (2006) demonstrated that even brief skin-to-skin contact transmits complex emotions—gratitude, sympathy, affection—and reduces cortisol. Field (2010) reviewed dozens of studies showing that a mere ten seconds of hugging daily lowers blood pressure and bolsters immune function. Deprive someone of touch for months on end and you risk heightened anxiety, depression and weakened immunity (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008). In one study of 1,000 adults quarantined during COVID-19, 75 percent reported increased feelings of loneliness and “skin hunger”—a yearning for human contact beyond what video calls could satisfy (Smith et al., 2021).

Beyond health metrics, touch anchors our social world. Sociologist Diana Gale Walton (2021) observed that people in high-contact cultures—Italy, Brazil, India—found distancing measures especially jarring. Grandmothers accustomed to snuggling grandchildren felt their maternal instincts stifled. In São Paulo, elderly community centres transformed into “buzzing hubs” of laughter and gentle embraces; their sudden absence plunged members into isolation (Lima, 2022). In Japan, where bowing substituted for handshakes even pre-pandemic, the shift to zero physical cues magnified social awkwardness, fuelling anxiety among youth already struggling with social withdrawal or hikikomori (Yamamoto, 2021). As physical distancing stretched into months and then years, many started to wonder: was our species rewiring itself for a future where touch is an optional luxury?

In early 2021, pilot studies in Iceland and New Zealand tested “touch clinics”—regulated spaces where people could book 15-minute, socially distanced shoulder squeezes from trained volunteers. Initial results showed marked drops in self-reported loneliness and anxiety, but public health authorities remained sceptical of any program that encouraged proximity (Ólafsdóttir et al., 2021).

After two years of intermittent lockdowns and social bubbles, the simple question “Do you miss touch?” was no longer rhetorical. It became a gateway to a larger conversation: how much of our well-being hinges on our ability to connect physically? And if that ability can be stripped away so quickly, what does it say about the fragility—or resilience—of our social nature?

Rekindling Our Innate Need for Touch

If the pandemic revealed how much we rely on touch, it also taught us strategies to reclaim it safely. First, recognize touch as a biological imperative. We were not designed to navigate life glove-first and elbow-to-elbow. As Maslow (1943) placed “belongingness and love” at the heart of his hierarchy, so too did Bowlby (1969) frame touch as the bedrock of secure attachment. With that in mind, small, intentional steps can reignite our tactile bonds.

1. Mindful Micro-Touches

Even a brief palm-to-palm at eye level—“the high-five of hearts”—can convey warmth while respecting safety. Family members or roommates can adopt daily “check-in” palm presses, a five-second ritual before breakfast or bedtime (Field, 2010).

2. Hug Protocols

As vaccines rolled out, trusted-group “hug pods” emerged: circles of up to six people who agree to only hug within the pod. This micro-cohort approach preserves intimacy while limiting wider exposure (Ólafsdóttir et al., 2021).

3. Touch-Friendly Public Spaces

Parks and community centres can install “hug benches”—brightly coloured seats with painted hand motifs that invite strangers to sit back-to-back and lean for a safe mutual hug (Brown, 2022). These installations normalize low-risk touch in open air.

4. Professional Touch Services

Licensed massage therapists and reflexologists, following strict sanitary guidelines, began offering “pandemic protocols” with enhanced cleaning, mask mandates and outdoor tables. Asia-Pacific countries, with prior experience through SARS, adapted quickly, demonstrating that trained touch professionals can operate safely (Lee & Chung, 2021).

Relearning to hug, pat and hand-hold requires trust—trust in science, in community, in one another. As we rebuild norms, these incremental practices prime us for the grand return of our species’ original language: skin-to-skin connection.

Loneliness Through Introvert and Extrovert Perspectives

Loneliness is often portrayed monolithically, but its contours shift dramatically depending on whether you recharge alone or in crowds.

The Introvert’s Solitude

For those who cherish quiet reflection—journaling, solitary walks, reading—lockdowns initially felt like respite. Yet prolonged isolation stripped away spontaneous encounters that spark deep conversation: the barista’s knowing nod, the elevator’s silent solidarity, the bench-mate’s shared gaze. Research by Wheeler and Kim (2021) found that 60 percent of introverts reported “meaningful connection fatigue” after three months without casual social micro-interactions. Sarah, a self-described introvert, told her local paper she missed overhearing friends’ laughter in a coffee shop, a backdrop that inspired her own creativity (Walton, 2021).

The Extrovert’s Withdrawal

Conversely, extroverts thrive on high-energy environments—networking events, parties, team sports. When stadiums stood empty and office cubicles blinked with “Away” statuses, extroverts reported feeling “dumbstruck” by the lack of stimuli (Lambert, 2021). Mark, a sales executive, began hosting daily “Zoom pizza parties,” complete with delivered takeout and goofy hats to simulate camaraderie. Still, 48 percent said screen fatigue and laggy connections deepened their isolation more than any lockdown (Lambert, 2021).

Intersecting Needs

Some experiences are universal: physical longing for touch, the craving for eye contact, the hunger for shared laughter. But coping strategies differ. Introverts found solace in deep reading and letter writing; extroverts formed virtual flash mobs and rooftop dance-alongs. Both groups, however, realized that digital platforms—no matter how feature-rich—cannot fully substitute the warmth of presence and skin’s subtle messages (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008).

Ultimately, whether you prioritize solitude or sociability, the pandemic reframed loneliness not as an introvert’s refuge or an extrovert’s ordeal, but as a shared wound. Healing demands addressing both silent introspection and exuberant expression, ensuring every temperament rediscovers its path back to community.

The Power of Community: Reweaving the Social Fabric

Humans evolved in bands of 25–150 individuals—hunter-gatherers whose survival depended on cooperation, shared resources and mutual defence (Dunbar, 1993). Community, then, is not an elective attachment; it is an adaptive necessity. As Putnam (2000) lamented, modern societies have seen a steep decline in “social capital” over recent decades, a trend that COVID-19 amplified. We must now ask: how do we rebuild community in ways that actively include the lonely—and prevent them from slipping through the cracks?

Evolutionary Roots and Modern Gaps

Anthropologists note that tactile rituals—grooming, communal sleeping, ritual dance—forge and maintain social bonds. Japan’s traditional “moai” groups exemplify lifelong mutual support, pooling money, meals and emotional counsel (Kondo, 2000). In contrast, Western urban sprawl and digital echo chambers have replaced these organic networks with transactional interactions. When the pandemic curtailed even those, loneliness erupted into a public-health crisis: a meta-analysis found that chronic loneliness raises mortality risk by 26 percent—comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015).

Case Study I: Men’s Sheds

Originating in Australia in 1998, the Men’s Sheds movement crossed to rural Ireland by 2010. Open‐plan workshops invite older men—often retired or widowed—to gather, tinker and talk. Smith (2021) documented that 82 percent of participants reported reduced loneliness within three months, thanks to shared projects and casual banter. During lockdown, Sheds pivoted to “shed-to-shed” pen-pal schemes, mailing small woodcraft kits along with handwritten notes, preserving camaraderie despite physical closures.

Case Study II: The Big Lunch (UK)

Launched by the Eden Project in 2009, The Big Lunch encourages neighbours to host street-party-style meals. Brown (2022) found that this single-day event boosts local trust by 37 percent and leads to ongoing clubs—gardening circles, walking groups—that sustain connections year-round. In 2021, The Big Lunch offered “socially distanced picnic packs,” enabling households to dine on adjacent driveways, passing dishes with sanitized tongs and waving across painted hula-hoops. Many neighbourhoods, once unknown to each other, became micro-communities.

Case Study III: Social Prescribing (UK NHS)

Recognizing that GPs are not enough to tackle loneliness, NHS England rolled out social prescribing in 2019. Practitioners refer isolated patients to community activities—choir, pottery, walking football—tailored to interests (NHS England, 2019). Preliminary data reveal a 23 percent drop in GP visits and a 31 percent improvement in self-rated well-being among participants. Critically, many engagements are co-designed by local councils and charities, ensuring cultural and linguistic inclusivity.

Principles for Inclusive Community Rebuilding

1. Asset-Based Community Development

Map local strengths—skilled neighbours, vacant lots, underused halls—and build programs around them rather than importing external “solutions” (Kretzmann & McKnight, 1993). Greaves (2023) shows how transforming a derelict lot into an intergenerational garden empowered both seniors and youth.

2. Co-Design and Grassroots Leadership

Top-down initiatives often miss the mark. Instead, form advisory councils of people with lived experience of loneliness. In Toronto, the “Loneliness Lab” unites researchers, residents and service providers to prototype pop-up cafés where guests sign up for “table topics” ranging from gardening tips to memoir writing (Jackson et al., 2024).

3. Low-Barrier, High-Accessibility Activities

Cost, transport and stigma can deter participation. Micro-volunteering apps—where users commit as little as 15 minutes to check in on an elderly neighbour—remove friction (Burns, 2022). Public libraries can host “Conversation Corners” with no registration, offering tea and open-ended questions to spark dialogue.

4. Intergenerational Bridges

Siloed age groups miss out on mutual gifts. The “Ubuntu Village” model in Seattle pairs university students with retirees for shared cooking workshops and tech tutoring (Nguyen, 2022). Students gain wisdom and quiet study spaces; seniors access digital services and companionship.

5. Hybrid Digital-Physical Platforms

While in-person contact is irreplaceable, digital tools can catalyse it. Community apps that geolocate micro-events (pop-up board-game nights, street-corner music sessions) encourage offline meetups. Integration with public-transport schedules and wheelchair-accessible filters ensures no one is left waiting at home.

Action Steps for Local Stakeholders

Municipal Governments should allocate “social infrastructure” budgets for benches, community gardens and low-cost venue hire.

Health Services must embed loneliness screening into routine checkups, with direct referrals to local community connectors.

Schools and Universities can offer course credits for student volunteering in elder centres, youth mentoring or community tech support.

Businesses should encourage employees to use paid volunteer hours at local charities, cultivating trust and solidarity.

Faith and Cultural Groups can open sanctuaries—both physical and online—for anyone seeking conversation, irrespective of belief.

Conclusion: A Collective Embrace

Loneliness is not a private failing but a public challenge. Just as COVID-19 demonstrated our biological vulnerability, the craving for touch and community underscores our interdependence. Reweaving the social fabric demands commitment from citizens, policymakers and organisations alike. By combining evolutionary insight, evidence-based programs and grassroots ingenuity, we can transform isolated suburbs into connected neighbourhoods, empty streets into buzzing squares, and ultimately restore the embrace we all crave.

References

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The Human Touch: Navigating Loneliness in a Post-Pandemic World