A day at the seaside

 A woman
was impaled by a beach umbrella
and had to be freed with a bolt cutter,
police in the US said.
Mary Radley, 68,
was at Seaside Downs in Santa Monica
on Monday when part of the apparatus
pierced her right ankle and
was driven completely through due to the “force of the wind”,
so the nice reporter from the local newspaper said.
Borough Police Chief Timmy Lloyd (he’s a fine catch, ladies)
said fire crews used a bolt cutter
on the umbrella to free her, and
then put her in an ambulance.
Mary Radley, 68 said nothing when the nice reporter came to visit.

Though I did eat all the chocolates later and smiled.